Little Mathletics

[Mr John]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I think it’s time.

Prepare yourselves for the Cünt Brigade Indonesian Tour 2006!

I haven’t worked out the exact details yet, but I am proposing the following.

The members, and various fanboys-and-girls arrive in Jakarta, we rehearse for a couple of days and have a minimum of 3 gigs in Jakarta.

Then, depending on how people are feeling:

We drive to Bandung (3 hours away) and play a gig or two there, and – depending on how good my organisation skills are – we get a couple of guest gamelan musicians to collaborate with on a song or two.

And/or

We fly to Bali ($50-200 away) and play a gig or two there, the odds of a collaboration happening there are a little slimmer because there’s next to no chance of me getting to go there beforehand and finding someone who is willing to let their traditional music be slaughtered in this way.

And/or

We feel satisfied with the gigs we’ve played and nick off to some tourist-type destination and chill out. Danau Toba is nice… Though Bandung and Bali are good for music-related tourism, buying crazy instruments, seeing cool local music, etc, and we could play more gigs there. You guys could also fly home out of Bali and possibly save money.

The sources of revenue I foresee are as follows:

Merchandise sales: we’ve got cds, I can get t-shirts, stickers and badges printed cheaply here, I just need designs.
Government grants: exceedingly unlikely, almost entirely as a result of our name, but I do know the woman in charge of bringing Australian artists over to tour Indonesia, so who knows?
Ticket sales: Don’t count on much, if anything.

The costs I foresee are as follows:

Plane tickets: on the order of a grand, likely to be higher.
Manager: Rather than have me dick around, we can get someone to organise gigs, t-shirts, etc. for us. I know some people who know some people and this wouldn’t cost us more than $150, split 5 ways that’s pretty good value.
Merchandise: I’ll try and get some quotes if this is looking likely.

Other considerations:

Instruments: bring your own guitars, small drum parts, fx pedals etc., no one ever uses their own amps or drums here, there are house ones that everyone uses. In the event that we actually get a big gig where we are expected to provide that shit, I’ll try and sort something out. I can find a keyboard no problems.

So yeah… We’ll make a huge loss (only the plane tickets though), but it’s going to be fun.

Late August is looking good for me, does anyone have any other suggestions?

[Mr John]

Actually, organising this shit for one band is as much of a pain in the arse as organising it for two.

How about it Pramsnatcher?

[sebastian]

I am a well paid public servant with nothing other than hookers and crack to spend my money on, which I'm happy to give up for a month for the sake of this gig.

Actually, can you organise them, too?

[sebastian]

Hey Holdaway, you gaywad: why are you not on Skype?

[Mr John]

Because I'm at work, and I'm working... duh... Can't you tell I'm busy?

While both of your requests are highly illegal in Indonesia, both are in plentiful supply. I'll do what I can to hook you up.

The place that the ladyboys hang out is near my apartment, they're cheaper than your average hookers... For your daily salary you could probably get a permanent lapdance from the moment you step out of the plane until you get back on it 2 weeks later.

[LittleMathletics]

Hmmmm. Well, you all know my feelings on the idea. I'd love to go, but I just need to know concrete times and costs. I guess you've figured out the costs as best you can, John. Appreciated.

If we're talking in a month though, it's not going to happen. If we're talking November, then we might be in business. A grand is a lot, if you're me.

Also, I believe you mean:

[Mr John]

November could work. I'd say 2 weeks is a good amount of time.

If Scrappy wants to turn it into a month long trip around Asia then he's welcome. The CB related stuff wouldn't take more than 10 days - 2 weeks.

[LittleMathletics]

You mean, if he wants to turn it into a month long Asia-wide hooker and crack fest?

November could be a goer. And two weeks sounds good. And I'm assuming it wouldn't cost too much beyond the trip over there to live for two weeks?

I'm not saying I'm in for sure, yet, but I have always wanted to say "Mr John - make it so!"

Take that as you will.

[sebastian]

[LittleMathletics]

The Hot Lunches Big (Ethnic) Band?

[Bee Tea]

Cuntingly awesome idea John. I will have to try and save for a bit to see if it's possible, but I'm totally keen.

[sebastian]

Bea Tea, that is cuntacularly good.

Who was the tardo that voted no then?

[LittleMathletics]

I don't know. I haven't voted.

Maybe it was Indonesia. As a collective. Voting as one.

[Mr John]

Well, I need to decide if I'm going to be here after August first. I'll either be living in Canberra in August or here.

If I'm in Canberra then I won't have enough money to be flying over to Indonesia so we'll have to console ourselves by having another reunion gig or tour in Australia.

If I stay over here then I'll need to see how November will fit into my new job schedule...

In other new, I hear Someone has been talking to a band member's girlfriend about the tour and that person's girlfriend has been talking about coming on tour...

HAVE WE NOT ALL SEEN THIS IS SPINAL TAP???

That said, my odds of scoring after gigs are greatly increased if my girlfriend comes on tour.

[LittleMathletics]